'and'

One year ago today, our family piled into our minivan to begin our next adventure—moving from Vancouver Island to Ottawa, Ontario. The mix of emotions was intense and included teary goodbyes, nervous apprehension and joyous anticipation. I am no stranger to transitions and I truly thrive on change, but the ambiguity and liminality are tough.

Reflections on our first year? It has been amazing, awesome, exciting and exhausting in its unrelenting new-ness. We miss friends and family, the seashore and mountains, and we love the rivers, lakes, wide open skies, history, culture and of course snow! Being someone who likes variety, I have always felt constricted having to choose between things. Rather than try to stuff all my experiences and emotions into one thing ‘or’ another, I have learned to welcome the graciousness and spaciousness that ‘and’ brings.

Change involves letting something go and moving towards something new. There is grief and excitement, fear and joy, sadness and hope. It is challenging to hold all these feelings and experiences at once, and I have learned to seek help in these ambiguous times. My go-to’s for help? Talking with trusted friends who listen well, sharing a good laugh with my kids, exploring something new and—thank you streaming services—a binge worthy show helps immensely!

I also find deep solace in watching the seasons change. Something aligns when I see the earth shift. I breathe again and am reminded that I am not crazy or alone. Change, transition and shifting seasons are important and essential in the rhythms of life. On my morning walk today I observed some seasonal ambiguities: certain trees are turning colour, dropping leaves and others are brilliant green, holding fast. Purple and yellow flowers dot the landscape and apples and acorns litter the ground. On this autumn equinox, the earth is letting go of summer and stepping into a new season. The natural world isn’t alarmed by the change, it is a natural part of the process. Here’s to a new season and many more opportunities to remember and welcome ‘and’.

- Lisa